Oneshot of Oneshots
by EeeekZombieFox
Summary: It's just a oneshot of oneshots, part of my story that I took out, etc. Some of them are...uncomplete? Yea let's go with that... A little thank you to my readers. Has random things in it, but I hope you enjoy this? I really don't know what to say... Some stories do have sex/blood in it and others are funny, or tried to be funny.


**Merry Christmas! Here's something for my readers, a thank you for supporting me! This is a oneshot of oneshots and stories I was going to make, but never got around to it, never finished them, or was part of my story and took it out. So I just shoved them all together and this is what I got. **

**I do not own Naruto, or the characters AND I do not own Vegeta (He belongs to Dragon Ball Z), or the song 'Convenience Store'. But I stumbled across it recently and I totally forgot all about it, but it just seem something the Naruto gain would do...so here is a fun, short, but sweet oneshot of the gain going to the convenience store and the other little stories. All I really own is Koto my OC. **

**If you have no idea why they are all living together and blah, blah, blah, it's from my other story 'The Great Lusty Ninja War', if you really want to find out...go read it. **

**And also there are some adult content in here. As in sex and blood. So if you don't want to read them I'll mark them or warn you.**

**Story one**

**Convenience Store**

Naruto, Sasuke, Sai, Kiba, Akamaru, and Sakura were all upstairs in the guest room laying in their beds wide awake. It was late and everyone should be fast asleep, but no one could close their eyes. Naruto was snuggled up to his lover, but even still he couldn't sleep.

"Is anyone else awake?" Sai wondered out loud.

"I am!" Naruto said bluntly.

"Me..." Sasuke said in a flat tone.

"Same here." Sakura called from the other side of the curtain.

"Yup." Kiba confirmed from his bed.

"Bark!" Akamaru agreed.

"What do you guys want to do?" Sasuke asked. "Something to help us go to bed...hmm." She thought from the other side of the room.

"Uno anyone?" Sai asked with a fake smile.

"Hell no!" Naruto yelled, remembering all the times they played with the Super perv.

"Yea...no Uno." Sasuke agreed with his lover.

"Well...I bet all of our friends are asleep by now." Kiba told everyone.

"Well its twelve in the morning already." Sakura said looking up at the clock. Akamaru whimpered.

"It's ok boy. We'll find something to do!" Kiba reassured his furry friend.

"How about TV?" Sai tried again.

"Nah. It would be just be static." Sakura told the boy. Everyone sighed heavily in the dark.

"Maybe we can all sneak out and do something?" Naruto suggested.

"Yea, like what?" Sakura asked.

"Well, we could go for a walk. That would sure wear us out." Sasuke brainstormed.

"Nu uh! Akamaru and I want to do something fun." Kiba growled as the rave haired boy.

"There's not much to do late at night..." Sai said with a sigh.

"..." Everyone sat there thinking and brainstorming in silent.

"I got it!" Kiba yelled and jumped up off of his floor bed. Akamaru wagged his tail in excitement.

"Shh!" Sakura hushed the boy.

"What, what?" Naruto asked eagerly.

"How about we all go to the convenience store down the street?" Kiba told everyone.

"Aren't they close at this time?" Sakura asked.

"Nope. They're open 24/7, baby!" Naruto chipped in.

"Sounds good." Sasuke said and got up to start getting changed.

"Convenience store?" Sai asked.

"Don't tell me you've never been to one..." Sakura started.

"You'll like it, Sai. It has everything." Naruto smirked.

Once everyone got up and dressed in regular clothes they all sneaked out into the hallway with Sasuke leading the way. Everyone dashed down the stairs and silently past the pervert/Jiraiya sleeping on the couch with Zabuza, Haku, and Itachi sleeping on the floor. Everyone got to the door and started to put their shoes on when all of sudden the living room light turned on. The kids and dog shielded their eyes from the blinding light.

"Going some where?" Minato asked with his arms crossed over his chest while sitting in a chair.

"O-oto-san? What are you doing up so late?" Naruto said surprised.

"I was just getting a snack and kicking it in the living room. Till of course you and your posse walked by, tripping over one another." Minato said and got up only wearing a black pair of boxers that said 'Ask me about my wiener.' and a picture of a dog on it.

"Nice." Sasuke said and went back to putting on his shoes.

"So...you going to tell me boy?" Minato waited.

"We're going to the convenience store." Sai told the man. Everyone looked at the boy.

"Hmm...in the middle of the night?" Minato asked. Everyone nodded. "Sweet. I'll be back." Minato told the gain and dashed up stairs.

"Umm...is your dad coming along?" Kiba asked the blond boy.

"Yeeaa..." Naruto said with a slight chuckle. Everyone was silent and the guests who were asleep in the living room woke up from the light.

"What do you kids think you're doing?!" Jiraiya yelled at the bunch.

"We'll leave you along soon." Sasuke told the perv.

"Sasuke? What are you doing in the middle of the night?" Itachi wondered.

"Shut up Itachi." Sasuke glared.

"Nope. I'm up now." Itachi got up and left the room. Sasuke cursed under his breath. Everyone in the living room was now up as Zabuza and Haku got up and got dressed and Itachi returned already dressed. Jiraiya was dressed as well, lounging on the couch waiting for Minato. And long and behold Minato came back down with Kakashi following his lover.

"Why is everyone up?" Kakashi asked, looking around the room.

"Well I did leave the light on." Minato remembered.

"Can we go to the convenience store now?" Sakura asked as she started to get annoyed.

"Hell yea! C'mon, let's move some ass!" Jiraiya demanded and herded everyone out the front door.

Everyone walked in the dark air and soon found their selfs in the welcoming light of the small store. But some punks were sitting out front playing with lighters and pop-rocks. They looked up at the gain of ninjas and smirked.

"Hey! You wearing a bra?!" One punk with a dark sage green hood asked. Everyone looked to Sakura.

"What did you say punk!?" Sakura asked steamed.

"Not you! Her!" The other boy with an unlit cigarette in his mouth said as he pointed to Haku.

"Me?" Haku asked in wonder.

"Umm...Duh!" The third boy with the baggy pants and rainbow shirt said.

"Well...umm...yes." Haku told the truth. Everyone stared in awe and confusion.

"You are?" Everyone asked.

"You are? Really?" Zabuza asked his man.

"I'm a cross dresser teddy bear." Haku pointed out.

"Please don't use pet names in public." Zabuza ordered.

"Show us your tits!" A boy demanded, not afraid of all the ninjas who could break him like a twig.

"What the hell did you just say?" Zabuza asked the boy.

"Did I stutter bitch?" He glared.

"When I'm done with you, you're going to wish you had." Zabuza told the boy and pulled out his sword.

"Now, now. Let's not kill each other." Kakashi told the man with blood in his eyes.

"Yea, yea! Watch this!" Naruto turned into a sexy naked girl with blond pigtails. "Hey boys!" Naruto winked with his tits hanging out. The boys smiled and had blood leak from their noses. Minato appeared behind them as a girl and hugged one boy. His face smashed against Minatos boobs and the boy fainted.

"Teehee!" Minato giggled and teleported on Kakashis back.

"Minato!" Kakashi yelled as he felt his lovers boobs on his back. Kakashi sighed and let it go. Jiraiya smiled and turned into a girl and jumped on another boy who was still trying to hold his ground. The long white-haired girl giggled and winked at the boy who fainted. The other one rolled his eyes to the back of his head and fell to the ground.

"That was easy." Jiraiya said and turned back into a man.

"You're one ugly chick!" Naruto pointed out.

"Shut the hell up!" The pervert ordered his student. The door opened and everyone walked in.

Naruto, Sasuke, and Kiba were looking at magazines and Naruto heard giggling next to him. The pervert was looking at a porn magazine.

"Pervy sage!" Naruto hollered.

"I read the articles!" The pervert tried to cover it up, but failed.

"Yea, whatever!" Kiba said and walked off to go look around. Naruto left to go find something to buy. He walked past Minato and Kakashi and over heard their lame conversation.

"We really don't need anything." Kakashi told his love.

"We need more whip cream." Minato disagreed and grabbed the last three cans. Kakashi sighed and went with it. Kiba dared Sai to copy his ass and of course Sai did it. Sakura was yelling at him and Sasuke was looking at lemonade, while Itachi was flipping through a cooking magazine.

Naruto went to the counter and saw Vegeta leaning on the counter with his black hair spiked and his consistently pissed off look on his face. He wore a bright pink apron that had a name tag on it that said "HELLO. My name is...VEGETA-the price of all saiyans." in chicken scratch hand writing.

"What do you want kid?" Vegeta asked in his deep voice.

"I would like some pork buns."

"We're out."

"Meat buns."

"Yea what about them?"

"Can I have some?" Naruto asked.

"Yea whatever." Vegeta said and put the last two in a clear bag. "Here. Take your buns and get lost." Vegeta gave the boy his money back and Naruto thought up some mischief.

"Excuse me!" Naruto spoke up.

"What now?" Vegeta asked annoyed.

"Umm...umm..."

"What is it?" He asked again.

"Um...mmm"

"Hurry the fuck up kid! The line is getting long." Vegeta rushed.

"Umm...umm..."

"...are you fucking kidding me?" Vegeta growled.

"An egg!" Naruto demanded.

"...an egg? Really?" Vegeta asked and got th egg.

"Another one!" Naruto yelled.

"Umm...two eggs?"

"Another!" Naruto demeaned.

"Ok...three eggs...done? Or do you have to make my job harder than it really needs to be?" Vegeta asked.

"Lots of tempura sauce." Naruto said quickly.

"Fucking tempura sauce..." Vegeta got the sauce for the boy.

"How much is it?" Naruto asked.

"Total amount will be 220 yen."

"Here's 10,000." Naruto pulled out of his frog.

"...you're kidding right?" Vegeta asked with a blood vestal pulsing on his forehead.

"Here." Naruto shoved.

"...really?"

"Give me change!" Naruto demanded.

"Oh I'll give you fucking change." Vegeta growled at the boy.

"I don't want a receipt." Naruto told the man.

"I'll give you a receipt, like it or fucking not." Vegeta growled.

"I need to use the toilet!" Naruto said.

"Do I look like your mother?" Vegeta asked.

"Where is it?" The blond boy asked.

"We don't have one." Vegeta told the boy.

"Where do you go?"

"On the neighbors cat, now leave you blond prick!" Vegeta ordered.

Everyone went outside and the sky was just turning into dawn. Everyone yawned and left for home.

"That was awesome. We should do that again." Kiba said as he fell on his bed next to his furry love.

"Yea...but for now, I want to sleep." Sai yawned and closed his eyes.

"Me too!" Sakura called as she pulled out her new Sasuke plushie that she got at the store and curled up with it. Everyone slept the day away while the village was up and bustling around. Naruto wondered to himself if they should go again tonight.

**This does tie in with Paramour. Or well it did...**

**This one has blood in it, but I don't think it's a lot.**

**Story Two**

**Innocence **

**? P.O.V**

The night was frigid and unforgiving to me. I painfully opened my eyes and met the ground. They were sore, but I don't seem to recall why. I was in the damp grass, but something around me was warm to where a light steam would rise. Something with light was moving in the distance to make the shadows dance on the grass. There was a building on fire in the distance, something in me told me to run, but when I moved my body would freeze in pain.

I felt some warm liquid oozed from my mouth. My body was in agonizing pain and every time I attempted to move my body wouldn't allow me too. I felt something wet and heavy on my hands. I lifted them to inspect what was wrong and I wish I haven't. Covered in a dark red liquid substance I stared in awe. Blood. This couldn't be all mine. There was way too much.

In the distance near the burning building a couple of human silhouettes laid on the grass with pools of blood under them. I tried to remember what happened, but nothing came to mind. Who would do such a thing? Now that I think about it. Who am I?

I then realized that there was a strange noise near the burning building. A muffled voice maybe? It had to be someone talking. But to who, I'm the only one out here...I think. It's starting to get closer, but hard to make out. Out of no where more silhouettes appeared by the burning building, but they were all standing and more muffled talking came from them. They were helping the people on the ground and saying something to each other.

I tried to stand again, but my body disagreed and I collapsed in pain. Then one of the silhouettes came closer to me. I become frantic and scared. My heart started to beat wildly as the shadow got closer. As it got closer I could make out some of the persons face. He was wearing a mask over his face and had an alien headband over one eye with silver messy hair.

"Hey..." It was a guy. I felt faint and my eyes were heavy. "Are you ok?" He asked me, but I blacked out and fell to the ground. That's what I recalled at least...

**Story Three**

**A Porn Hostage Situation**

Jiraiya walked over to the couch where he slept and looked around, even though he was alone. He smirked and ripped up the couch cushion to look for his lovely porn magazines, but found nothing. He looked in shock at the emptiness. How was this possible? Did Kakashi clean the house again and throw them out? No, it couldn't have been. He hid them well this time.

Jiraiya ripped up the rest of the couch, but still there was nothing. How was this? The pervert sighed and looked over at the small coffee table. There was a small piece of paper folded up.

"Hm?" The pervert picked it up and unfolded it.

"What!?" The pervert yelled after reading it. It went something like this:

**_Dear Jiraiya,_**

_**We have ALL of your PORN. And we WILL BURN it if you do not follow our directions. For a small favor we ask is that you strip down to your underwear and dress in the wonderful outfit in the box on the front step. It's JUST a little game. Then you must go around town on your hands and knees barking like a dog. This is FOR FUN so don't take it the wrong way. **_

_**P.S- Don't try to buy any new ones. We bought them all.**_

"No! Who would do such a thing!?" The pervert cried.

"I hate them with all my hate!" The pervert threw the paper and stomped on it with his foot.

The pervert went to the door to find a box that had his name written on it. The pervert looked around and picked it up. He closed the door and opened the box.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" He picked up a maids outfit that was in XL. "NO WAY! I'm not doing this!" As he said that a small paper air plain flew in and poked him in the ear.

"Ow!" Jiraiya picked it up and grumbled.

**_You will put it on. We have your porn._**

"Come out and fight me you pussy!" Jiraiya yelled out the window. A mother and her son walked a little faster by the house. Jiraiya blushed from embarrassment and closed the window.

"Only this once." Jiraiya stripped down to his boxers and put the custom on. There was also a little hair piece to it but he threw it in the box. Another paper air plane flew in.

_**Wear the hair piece too.**_

"Damn it! I hate you!" Jiraiya cursed and opened the box to place the cute little hair piece in his long white hair.

"I'm going to kill this dick..." He grumbled to himself.

**Story Four**

**Team Sasuke or Team Naruto?**

"I'm team Sasuke!" Sakura yelled.

"..." Sai just smirked, for he knew where this was going.

"Hey, hey! Count me in too!" Naruto smiled.

"What the hell is team Sasuke?" Minato asked as he took a sip of coffee.

"Everyone who thinks I'm damn sexy." Sasuke said in a matter of fact tone.

"Then I'm in." Minato smirked.

"Who's going against you?" Kakashi asked.

"No one. There's no one sexier than me." Sasuke told the group.

"Hmm! I'll go against you Sasuke my love!" Naruto told his prince.

"You'll lose." Sakura promised.

"Just you watch. I'll beat him!" Naruto smirked with his bed head hair all up in his face.

"This is going to be one hell of a morning..." Kakashi sighed as he grabbed a Pop-Tart down.

Everyone was in the living room sitting down waiting for the speech of Sasuke and Naruto.

Naruto walked up in front of the room with a smirk on his face.

"You should pick team Naruto cause if you do I promise...umm..."

"I promise that everyone gets a cookie." Sasuke said.

"Team Sasuke." Kakashi, Minato, Sakura, and Jiraiya said.

"OTO-SAN! How could you?!" Naruto asked.

"Son...it's cookies." Minato told his pouting son.

"I'll go for Naruto." Sai smirked.

"Thank you! Team Naruto fans get tacos! AND cookies!" Naruto smirked.

"Did I say Team Sasuke? I mean Team Naruto." Jiraiya switched.

"Team Naruto here!" Minato raised his hand.

"Everyone gets a free shirt with my face on it." Sasuke said.

"Back to Team Sasuke for me." Minato said.

"Free underwear with my face on it! With a cookie and taco!" Naruto said.

"Never mind. I'll go back to Naruto." Minato said.

"I don't know. The underwear thing is kinda weird..." The pervert mumbled.

"Can I have my cookie and taco in the underwear?" Sai asked.

"Everyone gets a d-"

"Dildo with Sasukes face on it is what he means! Hehe." Naruto interrupted Sasuke.

"Pfffhhh!" Minato spat out his coffee. "Hell yea! TEAM SASUKE ALL THE WAY!"

"OTO-SAN, YOU GAY ASS FATHER!" Naruto yelled.

"Naruto for me." Kakashi said.

"Hmmm..." Sai thought.

"And if you go on team Naruto you get-"

"Any time blow jobs from Naruto himself." Sasuke said.

"Yup. WHAT!?" Naruto yelled.

"Yea! That's my son! Team Naruto!" Minato switched.

"SHUT THE HELL UP OTO-SAN!" Naruto spit fire at his father.

"Team Sasuke." Kakashi and Jiraiya switched.

"I'll stay on Naruto!" Sai smirked.

"I hate you all." Sakura mumbled.

"If you join Sasuke then you get free butt sex!" Naruto yelled.

"Sasuke!" Sakura and Minato yelled with joy.

"Naruto!" Kakashi and Jiraiya switched.

"Hahaaha! Look who's winning now Sasuke." Naruto rubbed in.

"If you join Naruto you will all wake up with a dick in the ear." Sasuke threatened.

"Sasuke." Kakashi and Jiraiya switched again.

"I like the but sex better than a penis in the ear." Minato told the guys.

"I never trained you to be like this...where did I go wrong?" Jiraiya asked himself.

"He met our gay ass teacher." Naruto told his master.

"Excuse me?" Kakashi asked.

"You heard me!" Naruto yelled.

"Don't make me take you out back and beat you like a rug." Kakashi threatened.

"I bet my dad shags you like a rug!" Naruto smirked.

"That's it!" Kakashi got up.

"Everyone vote for me. Peace out wiggers." Sasuke said and left with an explosion.

**This one has sex. It's another oneshot with Kakashi and Koto.**

**Story Five**

**A Hunger for Lust **

The table was set for a romantic night and dinner. The aroma of fine lobster and side dishes filled the air. Two white, skinny, unscented candles with fine details carved into them were lit. The table was small, but just right for two people and a lobster. The room was dim, the only light was from the two candles that sat on the table.

Kakashi was looking in a gold trim mirror, trying to fix his bed head hair, but it was futile. He sighed and took a good look at the man in the mirror. He was wearing a black tux with a white under shirt and a small bow tie that was a dark pink. Kakashi still had on his mask, but took off his head protector to show his scar. He ran his fingers through his soft silver hair. He took a look around the hotel room he checked out for this special night.

He got a suite for the special occasion. It was nice. The best in the area. He spent a lot of money on the room alone. The food was another story. He just hope it was her taste. The room was huge, gold trimmings every where. The kitchen was ok. Small, but it didn't matter. He wasn't using it tonight and he wasn't a master chef.

The bathroom was huge. White marble floors and walls. Even the bath was nice. It could hold up to six people. The living room was big as well. Nice couch. Nice fire-place. Nice floors. But the best part of the sweet was the bedroom. Huge bed that had silky gold bed spreads, pillows, even a fire-place was in there. Bad part was the huge windows. They did come with gold curtains though. He would have to remind himself to pull those down before things got heated.

All of this was for Koto. She was finally coming back to the village. She left on a mission that lasted for about a half of year. It's been too long. He needed her. The last time they had alone time was seven months ago. He craved for her touch, smell, smile, kiss, everything.

Kakashi sighed and looked at the clock. 10:39 p.m. She was late. He was early and waiting. Such irony. He was usually the one to make everyone wait, but when it came to Koto, he was the one to wait. And he hated it. Karma was a bitch.

Kakashi then looked at the door. A noise came from the hallway, right outside the door. He held his breath in hope it was her. The door knob turned and the door opened. Kakashis stomach did flips. Koto stepped in wearing a long, strapless, silky silver mermaid dress that hugged her body perfectly. Right between her cleavage was a diamond shape of tiny crystals. She smiled a toothy smile. Her blue eyes sparkled with life. Her white hair was down and straight. Her white tail flew behind her with ease.

"Sorry, I'm late. Sakura and Ino helped me get ready. They made me try on a billion dresses." Koto apologized and made her way over to her lover. Kakashi met her half way right before she stumbled. Kakashi grabbed her, but she already steadied herself. But it still gave him a good reason to wrap his arms around he waist.

"I don't do heels." Koto told him. He rolled his eyes. He knew she was just klutzy.

"You made me wait again. You know I hate it when you do that." Kakashi told his white-haired lover. She smirked.

"I told you I was sorry." Koto told him.

"Sorry doesn't do it." Kakashi said and walked her over to the table. Koto sat down and he made his way over to the other side. They talked and ate. It seemed the price of the food was bigger then their stomachs at the time. Kakashis heart-felt like it could explode at any moment. Koto was right in front of him. He just wanted to push all the food of the table and rip off her dress that hid her magnificent body. He want to re-explore her body and make her his again.

Kakashi looked up from his plate and met her cleavage. Her wonderful C cup cleavage teased him. The whole damn dress teased him.

"Kakashi." Koto called. Kakashi looked up at her eyes. He knew she caught him staring.

"Where you really looking at my boobs?" Koto asked.

"Umm..." Kakashi knew if he said no she would yell at him and call him a liar. And if he said yes then it would still piss her off.

"Y-yea. But I couldn't help myself. You're so beautiful tonight." Kakashi tried to sweet talk his way out of it. Koto looked iterated and got up from the table. Shit, he did it now. Kakashi fucked up and pissed her off. The night was lost and he failed.

"Koto, I'm sorry. I really couldn't help myself." Kakashi begged for forgiveness. Koto walked over to him in anger. He knew what was going down. She was going to smack him then stomp out and leave him.

'SLAP!' Kakashi felt the stinging in his right cheek. He dared not open his eyes to see her leave out the door. He felt his heart sink to his stomach already. He waited to hear the door open and slam shut, but instead he felt his mask peel away and a warm, silky pair of lips on his own. He waited till she broke the kiss and looked up at her.

"I'm confused. But I like it." Kakashi told her and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her onto his lap.

"You should have just told me. I've craved it as well." Koto whispered in his ear.

"I wanted to take it slow." Kakashi whispered back.

"You take it slow? Heh. That's new." She whispered and kissed his neck.

"Why are we whispering?" Kakashi asked his love. She broke the kiss and smirked.

"You talk too much. Let's take this into the bedroom." Koto told him and kissed his cheek. Kakashi was waiting to hear those words all night. He didn't hesitate, he grabbed her and picked her up off of his lap and took her to the bedroom.

'BANG!' The bedroom door flew open and he placed her feet on the floor. He looked at her, foot to head. Figuring out how to take the silky dress off. It was strapless. How difficult could it be? Koto already was stripping him of his tux. The jacket was on the floor, along with the shoes he kicked off and she was already working on the undershirt. He placed his hands on her back to feel for a zipper.

Bingo! A small zipper right between her shoulder blades. Kakashi got a hold on it and tugged it down. It opened up all the way to her ass. He smirked as the dress fell around her feet. That was a lot easer then he thought. Koto on the other hand was still fighting to get all of his clothes off.

He had on his black slacks and his dark pink bow. Kakashi helped by undoing the pain in the ass things and Koto blushed like a little girl, like she was seeing a boy in his boxers for the first time. Kakashi grabbed her around the waist and kissed her passionately on the lips as he pushed her back gently onto the bed. Koto did a fate moan of satisfaction as he climbed on top of her.

His dog tags clinked together and met Kotos soft breast. She slid her fingers between his skin and black cloth boxers and started to pull them down with ease. She then released his penis, which was now a 7in erection. She giggled at how fast he was turned on. Kakashi on the other hand found her purple and blue thong and slipped them off. After awhile of making out and neck nibbling Koto took the dark pink bow into her mouth and tugged.

"Oops. Forgot about that." Kakashi smirked and kissed his lovers forehead. He took it off and tossed it on the floor with the pile of clothes.

"Hey, Kakashi." Koto called.

"Hmm?" Kakashi asked, muffled by her neck that he was nibbling.

"How come we never foreplay?" Koto asked. Kakashi went wide-eyed.

"I never thought you were the type to want to foreplay." Kakashi told his white-haired lover.

"I never tried it before, so I thought maybe you have?" Koto asked. Kakashi bite his lower lip. He has, back in his younger days that is.

"It's been awhile..." Kakashi sighed.

"Can we do it?" Koto asked in a eager manner.

"Next time. Promise." Kakashi told her and kissed her on the lips.

"Better." Koto mumbled in the kiss. Kakashi smirked in the kiss and pressed harder. Kakashi pulled her closer and moved her legs apart, getting ready to enter her. Koto grunted as she hit the pillow.

"Already groaning? Damn, I haven't even started yet." Kakashi joked. Koto rolled her eyes at her man. Kakashi positioned himself over her and thrusted himself into her.

"Uhha!" Koto moan. Kakashi kept the pace up and Koto let him know that he was hitting all the right spots.

"Harder Kakashi!" Koto moaned for more. Kakashi repositioned himself for his orgasm as he clenched the white sheets underneath their bodies. Koto moaned and groaned as he pleased her and himself.

"Guhha!" Kakashi grunted as he finally hit his orgasm. He stopped afterwards to take a breather, but it wasn't a long one.

"Kakashi, what are you doing?" Koto asked.

"I just had my orgasm..." Kakashi panted.

"Well hurry up. Some of us haven't had it yet." Koto told her man. Kakashi sighed and went back at it. About ten minutes of moaning and screaming, Koto finally had hers.

"Uhha!" Koto grunted as she clawed her lovers back up. Kakashi grunted as her nails went down his back. He left her and flopped on his back next to her panting. After they both caught their breath they laid there for a while talking.

"I think next time we should try whip cream." Koto smirked. Kakashi gave a half-hearted smile, for he was about to fall asleep. He grabbed his lover and pulled her close to him. She snuggled up close to his chest and rested her head on his moving chest. She listened to his heart beats and deep breaths. Kakashi looked at the gold trimmings on the ceiling and thinking how fucking amazing it was to have sex with the sharingan. Koto soon fell asleep and Kakashi drifted off eventually. The night was full of passion and lust. And Kakashi knew there was more to come.

**Story Six**

**Russian Roulette**

Naruto bite his lower lip in frustration. The dark room was silent...for now. But Naruto had a bigger problem then breaking the silent... The gun hasn't gone off in eleven turns. Was it broken? Or was he just that lucky? The shadowed figure held the gun to his head. Naruto watched as the tension rosed. He had a hard time breathing straight. It felt like his heart would explode.

The person across from him pulled the trigger...nothing. A 'click' sound went off, but no bullet came out.

"Luck." Naruto breathed. "That's all."

The shadowed figure slid the gun across the table for Narutos turn. Naruto looked at the gun. He picked it up and held it to his head. He swallowed hard and held his breath. He felt the cold rim of the barrel on the side of his head. He didn't want to lose, but losing meant everything. Naruto closed his eyes and squeezed the trigger.

Sadly, a 'click' didn't go off. Instead he heard a bang that made his ears ring and he shot open his crystal blue eyes. Fear and panic filled them. It was all over. Everything. He felt his life slip from his grip. Naruto hit the table, like the heartless bullet that hit his head.

Then a light flickered on and Minato came down the stairs in a pair of boxers that said "Fuck you, fuck me, fuck yea."

"Hey boys. What are you doing up so late?" Minato asked as he opened the refrigerator to grab himself a yogurt cup. Naruto picked himself up and placed the Nurf gun back down on the table. Sasuke rolled his eyes at his lover.

"Russian roulette." Sasuke told the man.

"Oto-san...what about you?" Naruto asked.

"Nothing like a yogurt cup after hot steamy sex with my sons teacher." Minato told his son as he spooned a bite of yogurt into his mouth. Naruto looked at his father.

"Really oto-san?" Naruto asked.

"Mhh hmm." Minato confirmed.

"I'm going to bed." Sasuke said and left the table. Naruto left after his lover and Minato finished his yogurt and then looked at the Nerf gun.

"Hmmm." Minato loaded it and smiled evilly to himself.

"Oh Kakashi." Minato cooed as he entered the room with the loaded Nerf gun. The rest of the night was fill with screaming from the master bedroom.

**Story Seven**

**The War of Animal Cookies **

Minato and Naruto were home alone sitting on the couch eating a box of animal cookies and watching porn.

"This is great...'munch, munch'." Minato told his son as he reached for another hand full of cookies. "I'm going to deep throat this bitch!" Minato told his son as he shoved a cookie down his throat. Naruto watched in amazement.

"Ooooo! Yea! Give it to me!" The TV blared.

"...crunch, crunch..." Naruto watched TV as he placed another cookie in his mouth, but felt something weird move in his mouth.

"Hmm?" Naruto felt more movement, like something was kicking the inside of his mouth. Naruto spat out the cookie onto the table.

"Naruto! That's fucking nasty. Put it back in your mouth boy." Minato ordered.

"Oto-san! That cookie is alive!" Naruto pointed at the little lion covered in spit standing up growling at the boy.

"Are you high or just stupid?" Minato asked.

"Oto-san! Look!" Naruto pleaded. Minato sighed and looked at the little lion cookie.

"Raaawr!" A tiny roar came from the cookie.

"Holy shit! It's a living cookie." Minato poked it.

"Grrrr!" The lion jumped back and pawed at the finger.

"Haha! That's nifty. What kinda ninja magic did you use boy?" Minato laughed.

"None! It just came to life." Naruto told the man. Why the two were bickering about the cookie the box turned over and all the little animal cookies ran out onto the couch and floor. Little zebras, lions, hippos, rhinos, foxes, elephants, and camels ran around.

"Oto-san! Look!" Naruto pointed to the floor.

"What is it now?" Minato asked and looked on the floor. The animals were all in lines. Ready to charge at them.

"Awwww. How cute." Minato cooed.

"I don't want to eat animal cookies anymore..." Naruto told himself.

"We should tame them and make a circus." Minato told his son.

"Why?"

"We would be rich! How long do you think it would take?" Minato asked.

"I don't know! But wouldn't Kakashi be mad if he found out you got food on his floor?" Naruto asked. Minato went pale. If it was one thing that pissed his lover off...it was food on the floor.

"Shit you're right! Let's get them back in the box!" Minato dashed over to the little cookies with the box.

"Hey little fellas! I need you guys to get in the box before my love kills me." Minato smirked and placed the box in front of them.

"Grrr." All the little animals warned the man to not mess with them.

"Hmm. We have ten minutes till Kakashi and the rest get home." Minato told his son.

"On it oto-san!" Naruto scooped them up and dropped them back into the box.

"Good work son! Keep it up." Minato smirked. Naruto went after some more, but heard a 'crunch' noise under his foot. Naruto stopped in his place. He lifted his foot and saw a poor zebra cry out in pain from being crunched in half.

"Oh my god! What have I done!?" Naruto cried.

"What did you do boy?" Minato came to his side. Naruto scooped up the poor cookie.

"I'm so sorry, zebra cookie!" Naruto sniffed.

"Naruto! How could you!?" Minato asked. "I disown you!"

"Get the super glue! We might b able to save him!" Naruto ordered.

"Son...look." Minato pointed at the other animal cookies that were gathering around their feet. The zebra whined in pain again. Naruto placed the cookie down on the ground and the other animals circled it. The zebra gave one last whine and went silent and still. Naruto sniffed as Minato hugged his son. The other animals whined for a while and left the zebras side towards the open window in the living room. Minato and Naruto watched them as they jumped to a near tree branch and left into the long grass where birds swooped down and took them to their nests.

"Oto-san? Can we bury him?" Naruto asked.

"Yes." Minato came back with a small shoe box and Naruto placed the animal cookie in the box. They went out back and dug a small hole under their tree that was blooming pink flowers. The wind blew some petals away from the tree and Naruto placed the box in the hole. Minato covered it back up and the two boys went back inside. They sat back down on the couch and as they did Kakashi, Kiba, and Akamaru walked in.

"Yo! I see you guys are...watching porn..." Kakashi said as he looked at the TV.

"I'm soooooo naked and vulnerable! Tee hee!" The girl on TV yelled.

"Hehe..." Naruto gave a nerves laugh.

"It's good father, son bonding time." Minato told his lover.

"I see..." Kakashi told his lover, that was totally not buying it. Akamaru was sniffing around and licked up something off the floor, then a loud crunch was heard.

"Did you find something boy?" Kiba asked and petted his partner on the head.

"Minato! What did I tell you about food on the floor?" Kakashi asked steamed.

"Food?" Minato thought.

"The lion cookie on the table!" Naruto told his dad.

"Shit! He couldn't get down in time to escape!" Minato told his son.

"What the fuck are you guys talking about?" Kakashi asked.

"You wouldn't believe us..." Minato told his lover.

"Whatever. Just don't leave food on the floor again. Or I'll tan your ass." Kakashi threatened.

"You probably need it too oto-san." Naruto told his father.

"I tan my ass on a regular basis, boy." Minato winked. Naruto gave a disturbed look at the man he called his father.

**Story Eight**

**Just Be Friends**

Sasuke was on the roof of a building, lazily looking at the clouds that drifted by. He knew what he had to do. He didn't want to do it and he's been putting it off for a long time now. Sasuke felt sad, but also a rush. But it was kind of like a band-aid pain. Do it fast and it will only hurt for a second.

Sasuke held his hand up to the blue sky and examined it carefully. The sun's light hit his hand and the warmth was pleasant. He sighed deeply and got up off of his back and onto his feet. Sasuke stood at the edge of the roof and looked down at the bustling village. He jumped from the roof effortlessly and landed on another roof. Sasuke jumped from roof to roof with the sweet summer breeze blowing through his midnight hair that look like silk when the sun hit it.

Sasuke finally came to the place he promised his lover. He entered the ramen shop and found his lover eating his favorite ramen bowl. Narutos blond messy hair was the same as always and his cocky, but friendly smile appeared on his face when he saw his lover.

"Hey Sasuke! I was waiting for you to get here, but you took too long so I ordered without you." Naruto told his love. Sasuke bite his inner cheek and opened hi mouth to say something, but the words got stuck in the back of his throat. His mouth got dry and Sasuke just wanted to get it over with all ready. Sasuke managed to clear his throat and Naruto looked up at his lover with curiosity.

"Naruto." Sasuke called the boy in a cold tone. Naruto looked at his love with warm blue eyes. Sasuke looked away from his mans eyes for it was too painful. Sasuke wondered if it was the right thing to do. Sasuke took a deep breath and found his voice.

"Naruto, I think we should just be friends for now on." Sasuke told his lover in a cold tone. Naruto stared at his prince.

"S-Sasuke..." Naruto started to say something, but Sasuke took off. Naruto was left in the dust by his love. The blond boy felt a sharp pain in his chest and a rock in his stomach. The ramen he ordered didn't look appetizing as before and his eyes felt moist. Tears threatened him. Naruto bite his lower lip and got up from his seat. Naruto left back to his place to lick his wounds. The blond boy tossed his clothes to the side of his room and flopped on his bed in a white T-shirt and blue boxers. Naruto buried his face in his pillow.

Warm steams of tears flowed down his face and into his pillow. The pain was unbearable. No physical pain could overcome this heartache. Sasuke was his world. Naruto needed him. How could simple words crush ones world in less than a minute? Naruto closed his eyes and tried not to think of all their memories together. Naruto had no idea how long he had laid there, lost in thought.

"Knock, knock!" A loud knock came from Narutos door. Naruto groaned and got up from his messy bed to answer the door. Naruto cracked the door open to peek out. The light from outside was bright and a person was standing in front of him. It was Lee. Naruto sighed at the sight.

"Naruto. May I come in?" Lee asked the boy. Naruto opened the door for his friend and Lee entered. Lee finally got a good look at the boy. He was a train wreck. His hair was messy, eyes were red from crying, and their crystal blue color seemed lifeless and dull. Lee felt sorry for him and wanted to help him, but wasn't sure what to do.

"Do you want to go get some ramen?" Lee asked. Naruto just shook his head and gave a fake smile that was a fail.

"No, Lee. Thank you, but I'm not hungry." Naruto told the boy.

"You've been locked up in here for two days now. Everyone is worried about you." Lee said as he pulled out some Narutos clothes and tossed them at him.

"Lee...I just don't know...I don't know what to do without him." Naruto finally said out loud. It wanted to make him cry, but he couldn't.

"..." Lee helped the boy get dressed and opened up the windows in his apartment to air it out a little.

"I know you don't want to see you-know-who, but you have to forget about him. He left you for Sakura. That's low." Lee told his friend. Naruto looked at the big eyebrow boy.

"What?" Naruto asked. "He left me for Sakura?" Naruto asked.

"...You mean you didn't know?" Lee asked.

"No..." Naruto said as he dragged himself out the door.

**Story Nine**

**The Day Naruto Ruined Thanksgiving **

Naruto was there. Pissed off everyone. Tried to cook the turkey and it took fire. Happy Thanks Giving everyone.

**Well there you go. Nine short oneshots (technically eight) for you all. Merry Christmas and a happy New Years/Lunar Year! Have a happy year in the year of the horse and spend plenty of time with your family and friends! **


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